How to change from a big wedding to an elopement

Planning a wedding is one of the most exciting milestones in a couple’s journey. However, as thrilling as the idea of a grand celebration might be, the reality of organising a large wedding can sometimes become overwhelming. The costs, the coordination, and the pressure to please everyone often make couples question whether the traditional route is truly right for them. If you’re in this situation, you might be wondering the next steps to changing from a big wedding plans to an elopement — for a simpler, more intimate alternative that puts the focus back on your love story.

Many couples are choosing to trade extravagant celebrations for intimate and deeply personal elopement experiences. By focusing on what truly matters—your love and commitment—you can design a day that feels authentic to your relationship.

Shifting from a traditional wedding to an elopement may seem daunting, but with the right mindset and approach, it can be a refreshing and rewarding decision. This guide will walk you through the steps of changing from a big wedding plans to an elopement—from reflecting on your reasons to reimagining your vision and handling the logistics. With thoughtful planning, you can embrace this shift and design a celebration that’s authentic, meaningful, and stress-free. Let’s get started!

Reflect on Why You’re Making the Change

Changing from a big wedding to an elopement is a deeply personal decision, and it’s essential to reflect on why this change feels right for you. Understanding your motivations will not only help guide the transition but also ensure that your new wedding plan aligns with your values and priorities.

Consider the Emotional and Practical Reasons

There are many valid reasons couples choose to elope, and exploring these can help solidify your decision:

• Budget Concerns: Weddings can be expensive, with costs often exceeding initial expectations. If sticking to a budget feels impossible or creates unnecessary stress, an elopement offers a way to save money while still celebrating your union.
  

• Overwhelm with Planning: Coordinating a large event involves juggling endless details, from seating charts to vendor contracts. If the process has started to feel more like a burden than a joy, simplifying your plans through an elopement can bring relief and restore excitement.
  

• Desire for a More Meaningful or Private Experience: A big wedding can sometimes feel impersonal, with much of the day focused on entertaining others. Eloping allows you to prioritize intimacy and authenticity, creating a day that truly reflects your relationship.

Take time to reflect on these factors and how they resonate with your unique situation. Identifying the “why” behind your choice will give you clarity and confidence as you move forward.

Communicate with Key Loved Ones

Once you’ve decided to transition to an elopement, it’s important to address the change with those closest to you. While this decision is ultimately about you and your partner, discussing it thoughtfully with your closest loved ones can help preserve important relationships:

• Discussing with Immediate Family or Close Friends: Share your reasons openly with the people who matter most. Highlight the emotional or practical factors influencing your choice and reassure them that this decision reflects your desire for a meaningful experience—not a lack of love for them.
  
• Managing Expectations: It’s natural for some loved ones to feel disappointed or left out. Acknowledge their feelings while standing firm in your decision. Consider involving them in alternative ways, such as hosting a small celebration after the elopement or including them virtually during the ceremony.

By approaching these conversations with empathy and honesty, you can foster understanding and maintain support as you embark on this new chapter. For more ideas on how to tell your loved ones you’ve decided to elope, check out our blog post “How to tell family you’ve decided to elope” here.

Reimagine Your Wedding Vision

Changing from a big wedding to an elopement offers the freedom to design a day that truly reflects your unique love story. Instead of adhering to formal expectations, you can craft an experience that feels personal and meaningful. This begins with envisioning what your ideal elopement looks and feels like.

Choose Your Ideal Elopement Setting

The beauty of an elopement lies in the flexibility it offers. The first step is selecting a location that resonates with you as a couple:

• Destination Elopements vs. Local Spots:
  • Destination elopements allow you to combine your wedding and honeymoon, often in breathtaking locales such as mountaintops, beaches, or iconic landmarks.
  • Local spots can be equally magical, especially if they hold sentimental value, such as a favourite park, a family holiday-home, or the place where you first met.
    

• Scenic, Sentimental, or Unique Locations:
  • Scenic locations provide a stunning natural backdrop—think forests, cliffs, deserts, or waterfalls.
  • Sentimental spots add a layer of meaning, like the city where you fell in love or a childhood vacation destination.
  • Unique venues, such as art galleries, hot air balloons, or secluded helicopter only accessible locations allow you to express your creativity and individuality.

When choosing your setting, think about what aligns with your personalities and the memories you want to create on this special day.

Define What’s Important to You

With fewer constraints, eloping allows you to focus on the elements that matter most to you:

• Vows, Photography, and Personal Touches:
  • Writing and sharing heartfelt vows can become the emotional centerpiece of your ceremony.
  • Investing in a skilled photographer ensures your memories are beautifully captured, even if you’re the only ones present.
  • Incorporating personal touches, like meaningful props or family heirlooms, adds depth and significance to your day.
    

• Minimalist or Elaborate Elopement Styles:
  • If simplicity speaks to you, a minimalist approach with just the essentials—vows, rings, and a beautiful backdrop—may be perfect.
  • For those who still dream of a bit of flair, an elaborate elopement can include styled décor, custom outfits, or even a small guest list for an intimate twilight dinner celebration.

By prioritising what feels most authentic, you can create an elopement experience that celebrates your relationship in a way that’s entirely your own.

Address the Logistics

Once you’ve decided to elope, it’s time to tackle the practical aspects of changing from a big wedding to an elopement. Addressing these logistics thoughtfully will help you avoid stress and make the transition as seamless as possible.

Cancel or Modify Existing Arrangements

If you’ve already started planning a big wedding, you’ll need to revisit and adjust your existing commitments:

• Vendor Contracts and Refund Policies:
  • Contact your vendors as soon as possible to inform them of the change in plans. Review your contracts for cancellation or rescheduling clauses, as some deposits may be non-refundable or partially refundable.
  • If you’ve already paid for services like catering, flowers, or venues, consider repurposing them for a smaller gathering or post-elopement celebration.

• Informing Guests and Handling Disappointment:
  • Announce your decision to elope with honesty and care. Let your guests know why this choice feels right for you, emphasizing your excitement about creating a more personal and meaningful day.
  • Be prepared for mixed reactions. While some guests may feel disappointed, most will understand and support your decision. Offering alternative ways to celebrate—such as a virtual ceremony or a post-elopement celebration —can help soften the blow.

Plan Your Elopement Details

With your big wedding plans behind you, it’s time to focus on the specifics of your elopement:

• Legal Considerations: Marriage Celebrants and Legal Paperwork:
  • Research the legal requirements for getting married in your chosen location. Within Australia, you do need a minimum of 1 calendar month prior to your elopement date to sign the Notice of Intent to Marry form with your Celebrant. You cannot marry in less than 1 month from signing this form.
  • You will need to hire an Authorised Marriage Celebrant to legally marry you, they will also guide you through all the legal paperwork, complete this on your behalf, and design a heart-felt and personalised Ceremony script and Ceremony experience for you. Hiring a Celebrant, is your first step to making this all legal.
    

• Travel Arrangements and Accommodations:
  • If your elopement involves travel, plan your itinerary early to secure flights, accommodations, and transportation. Consider booking a venue or lodging that doubles as a ceremony location for added convenience, or a backup weather plan.
  • Don’t forget to include any necessary travel documents, such as passports, visas, or vaccinations, if eloping abroad.

By addressing these logistics early, you can avoid last-minute surprises and focus on the joy of your special day. A little preparation goes a long way in ensuring your elopement is as stress-free and magical as you’ve imagined.

Add Personal Touches to Your Elopement

An elopement doesn’t mean letting go of the meaningful traditions or connections that make a wedding special. In fact, eloping gives you the freedom to include only the elements that feel most authentic to you. Adding personal touches can make your elopement even more memorable and reflective of your love story.

Incorporate Traditions in a New Way

Eloping allows you to embrace wedding traditions in fresh and creative ways:

• Something Old, New, Borrowed, Blue:
  • This timeless tradition can easily be adapted to your elopement. Carry a family heirloom, wear a new piece of jewelry, borrow a sentimental item, and include a pop of blue in your attire or bouquet. These small details honor tradition while keeping the focus on your personal style.
    

• Wearing Your Wedding Dress or Special Attire:
  • Eloping doesn’t mean you have to forgo wearing a stunning wedding outfit. Whether it’s your dream dress – traditionally white, or floral, colourful or even black, a sleek suit, or a casual yet chic ensemble, choose something that makes you feel confident and beautiful.
  • If your big wedding plans included formalwear that you still adore, don’t hesitate to incorporate it into your elopement day.

• First Looks:
  • A first look is a beautiful tradition you can carry into your elopement. Plan a private, emotional moment to see each other for the first time in your wedding attire, whether it’s in the backyard of your airbnb, on a mountaintop, a beach, or a quiet city street.
  • Capture this moment with a photographer to preserve the raw emotions and joy of seeing each other before saying “I do.”
  • This also allows you to have the “at the aisle” reaction moment, but head into the day together and travel to your ceremony location, and throughout the rest of the day with ease

Include Family and Friends (If Desired)

Even though an elopement is typically a more private affair, you can still find meaningful ways to involve your loved ones:

• Virtual Ceremonies or Intimate Witnesses:
  • Technology makes it easier than ever to share your special moment with family and friends, even from afar. Recording your ceremony, or live-streaming from your phones, allows loved ones from afar to live in the moment alongside you.
  • You could take a moment before or after your ceremony to quickly video call your loved ones and share in the joyous moment of being married!
  • If you prefer in-person support, invite a select few as witnesses. This might include parents, siblings, or your closest friends, making your day intimate but still shared.
    

• Celebratory Events Post-Elopement:
  • After your elopement, consider hosting an intimate celebration or dinner to share the joy with loved ones. This could be a backyard barbecue, a chic cocktail party, an intimate styled sit-down dinner, or a sit down on the couch, with popcorn and drinks, with a slideshow of your elopement photos on the TV.
  • Sharing your experience and celebrating together allows you to honour your relationships without compromising the intimacy of your elopement.

By weaving in personal and sentimental touches, your elopement can feel just as meaningful—if not more so—than a traditional wedding. These thoughtful details ensure that your day is uniquely yours while still honouring the traditions and connections that matter most.

Celebrate Your Decision

Deciding to elope is a bold and beautiful choice, and now it’s time to fully embrace it. Changing from a big wedding to an elopement allows you to prioritise what matters most: your love, your relationship, and the joy of committing to each other in a way that’s authentic to who you are. Celebrate this decision with confidence, knowing that your day is as meaningful as any grand event.

Embrace the Joy of Intimacy and Simplicity

Elopements are deeply personal, intimate celebrations that focus on the couple—just as it should be:

• Focus on Your Relationship, Not the Show:
  • One of the most rewarding aspects of eloping is the ability to focus solely on each other. With no distractions or expectations from a large guest list, your day becomes about the love and commitment you are sharing. Take in every moment, from exchanging vows to those quiet, joyful moments together.
    

• Relieving Stress and Prioritising Happiness:
  • A big wedding can often lead to stress, whether it’s managing a complicated schedule or trying to please everyone. Eloping allows you to bypass these pressures, creating an experience that’s entirely centered around your happiness. Without the need for complicated logistics or endless planning, you can fully enjoy the excitement of marrying the person you love.

Share Your Experience

Although your elopement may have been intimate, that doesn’t mean you can’t share the love and joy of your special day with others:

• Announcing Your Elopement with Photos or Videos:
  • After your elopement, announce the big news with stunning photos or a heartwarming video that captures the essence of your day. Share your story on social media or through a personal message to your loved ones, letting them experience the magic of your ceremony from a distance.
  • You could also share a “behind-the-scenes” look at your elopement process, giving your friends and family a glimpse into how special and meaningful your day was.
    

• Hosting a Post-Elopement Celebration:
  • If you’d like to celebrate with family and friends afterward, hosting a casual post-elopement gathering can be the perfect way to share your joy. Whether it’s a relaxed dinner party, a backyard barbecue, or a brunch with your nearest and dearest, this celebration can be as low-key or as lively as you like. It’s an opportunity to toast to your marriage without the formality of a traditional reception.

Embracing your elopement means embracing a day that is truly yours. Celebrate it wholeheartedly, focusing on the love you share, and don’t be afraid to share that joy with the people who care about you. After all, this day marks the start of your forever together—one that’s built on what truly matters.

Changing from a big wedding to an elopement can feel like a big decision, but it’s one that offers countless rewards. The freedom to focus on your relationship, the intimacy of a private ceremony, and the simplicity that eliminates stress all make eloping an incredibly meaningful choice. You can still honour traditions, make your day personal, and create memories that will last a lifetime—without the overwhelming pressure of a large traditional wedding.

Ultimately, the most important thing is that your celebration reflects what feels right for you and your partner. Don’t let societal expectations or the opinions of others dictate your choices. This day is about your love, and that should always come first. Whether it’s an intimate ceremony in a stunning destination or a quiet moment in a local park, your elopement should be a reflection of who you are as a couple.

Remember, there is no “one right way” to get married. Your journey is unique, and your wedding day should be, too. So, embrace the adventure, celebrate the love you share, and trust that your elopement will be everything you’ve dreamed of—and more.

If you are looking for a Photographer that specialises in Elopements, look no further. We not only photograph this incredible experience for you, we guide you every step of the way from changing from a big wedding to an elopement, to making your dream elopement experience come true. Get in touch here, to begin the planning process today!